7 Signs You’re a Bad Dater

Dating isn't easy.

In fact, it's incredibly hard to sit across from a near-stranger and ensure that things aren't awkward, all while trying to figure out if the two of you are actually a match.

It's no wonder some people are just bad daters—the whole thing is very uncomfortable. But if you can't seem to turn a first date into a second, how do you determine if it's your personality or your date behavior that's turning your potentials partners off? We have the answer.

Keep scrolling for seven signs you're a bad dater.

You Make Everything About You

When you're on a date, it's so tempting to just go into default mode. Unfortunately, a lot of peoples' default mode is just talking about themselves. It makes sense—it's easier to talk about something you already know very well (aka, you), instead of trying to figure out what to ask the other person. But your date seriously doesn't want to hear you ramble about yourself for an hour and a half without being able to get a word in edgewise. Not only does it make you look self-centered, it also communicates that you're not that interested in who they are. Why would they want to see you again after that?

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

You Get Easily Distracted

Dates are often filled with a lot of anxiety and worry. When your mind's going a mile a minute, it's easy to get distracted by literally everything around you. But if you can't manage to keep your eyes and attention on your date, you're not really communicating that you're interested. Refusing to meet your date's eye, or pole-vaulting from one conversation topic to another may just be a nervous tick, but it's totally annoying to the person you're with. All they see is that you're not focused on them. Plus, it's exhausting trying to keep up with someone who's constantly distracted.

 

You Use Your Phone

Oh, boy. Using your phone on a date is a big no-no. Much like being distracted, it communicates that you're not all that interested in the person you're with. In fact, you're much more concerned about what's going on in your digital world than you are in the person sitting across from you. As a general rule, just don't use your phone on a date. It's rude and it makes things awkward, especially if your date has to sit there quietly while you check your Instagram for the 10th time that night. We promise—you won't miss anything that big if you just set your phone aside for an hour.

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

You Complain a Lot 

We all want a partner who will listen to our complaints. After all, that's the best part of being in a relationship—a built-in person who's almost required to listen to all your negativity. But on the first date? You probably want to reel in that pessimism a little. You have to remember, this person doesn't really know who you are yet. Not only that, they also don't care enough about you as a person to genuinely take an interest in the low parts of your day. You're both feeling each other out at this point—do you really want to come across as a Negative Nancy? Constant complaints can ruin the vibe of what's supposed to be a fun interaction. Give your date a little time to figure out who you are before you rain down all your cynical views.

 

You Bring Up Your Exes

Oof. We all know not to bring up the ex. Unfortunately, in the anxiety of the moment, comments about your past relationships can just slip out. We get it, but it's still a total turnoff to the person on the date. Whether you're complimenting your ex, ragging on them or even telling your date how much better they are than your past relationship, it all comes across bad. Mentioning your ex at all, especially on the first date, usually communicates that you're not quite over the relationship. Whether that's true or not, it's going to make your potential partner much more wary of pursuing you.

(The Perfect Date via Netflix)

 

You Don't Offer to Pay

The payment portion of the date is always awkward. No matter what your personal beliefs might be, you should always offer to pay, if only out of politeness. If you don't at least offer, it can come across as rude and entitled to the person you're with. That might not be the case at all, but they'll have no way of knowing that. At least reach for your wallet and allow the two of you to do the "no, I'll pay" dance. Offering to pay communicates that you're courteous, and it allows you to be pleasantly gracious if they insist on taking care of the bill.

 

You Move Too Fast

Dates are so awkward, primarily because you have no idea where things are going to go. Will you never see this person again? Will you end up dating for years? Honestly, no one knows. We do know, however, that putting too much pressure on your dates is a huge turnoff. If you're already planning things weeks in advance or trying to coerce your date into defining the relationship after one meeting, they're going to get freaked out. Stick up for what you want, but make sure you're giving the relationship time to grow. A date is just a date—it doesn't necessarily mean things are going to go anywhere.

 

In need of more relationship advice? Click HERE for how to convince your parents you're ready to start dating.