I Got Set Up on a Blind Date Via FaceTime—and It Was the Worst

First dates are nerve-wracking in general—pair that with pixelated photo quality and spotty WiFi and you've got the meetup from hell.

I have a coupled-up friend who's played matchmaker to her single pals consistently amid quarantine, and two weeks ago was my lucky turn. Because it wasn't in person, there seemed to be a bit less pressure, but it didn't stop the nerves. Do I dress up? How much makeup should I wear? Where should I station myself in the apartment to have a "nice" background? She wouldn't tell me anything about him except his first name. I don't know all her single guy friends (or those of her S.O.'s either), but none of the ones I've met have blown me away (with either looks or personality).

Things were off to a pleasant start when the guy texted me during the day and said, "Hey Dahvi, it's *Adam, your blind date for tonight! I'll FaceTime you at 8 p.m.. Looking forward to connecting with you." I thought it was a little dorky but also set a positive tone for our wild (JK) night ahead.

I finished work at 5 p.m., relaxed for an hour and then got ready. Like an in-person date, you should absolutely try on your outfit in advance, because when the clock struck 8 p.m., I was in a dress that made my cleavage look incredibly unflattering.

Outfit aside, things were off to a good start. Adam called at 8 p.m. on the dot (love a little punctuality!), and I was totally shocked, but he was really good looking. I've got to say, I wasn't expecting it, but welcomed the surprise. Of course, I then began totally second-guessing my outfit choice, but I still felt more at ease knowing this wasn't in-person. The conversation kicked off with your typical getting-to-know-yous (he's from the east coast—great; he lives somewhat near me—great; he's Jewish—great; he loves rap—great).

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(via Shutterstock)

Not so great? He lives in the hills and has horrible WiFi. Literally half of our conversation consisted of me shouting , "I can't hear you" like four times in a row before he heard me. Another third of our conversation consisted of him moving around his house, trying to pick up a signal. In between that, I found out hot yoga is his favorite workout (ugh, he's one of those), and I had to unpreparedly try to describe one of my favorite bands, Wild Nothing, when he asked about an upcoming anticipated concert that's been rescheduled due to coronavirus. That resulted in 10 seconds of awkward silence (the answer was dream pop, but I couldn't put my finger on it at the time). We both talked about the fact that we were still thankfully working, but neither of us touched on what we actually do for a living, which I found odd.

I also found myself uncomfortably adjusting my dress throughout our chat, while trying to hold the phone at a decent angle. I also had a pillow resting on my lap, which didn't give him a full glance at me, and he had his camera positioned to only show his face, so he could have been five feet tall for all I know.

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(via Shutterstock)

An hour went by and we both decided we were hungry and going to make dinner. He ended things with, "Well, thanks for taking the time to hang out with me." So lame. I had a feeling I'd never get my fair shot to prove myself in person, and I was correct. In a normal case, you go on a date and if there's no interest, you go your separate ways. But when a friend sets you up, they always want feedback (and feel compelled to give it to you in return). I tried avoiding my friend, but she followed up and asked how it went. I said, "He seems great, but I got a friend vibe." She replied, "Guess you picked up on that. Well, at least I have a better sense of your type for next time!" Yippee, I thought.

I wasn't that offended because, again, he didn't even get to see me in person, and I imagine our chat would've gone far smoother had it been over chips and guac, as opposed to my constant questioning of whether or not he could hear me. But even so, no one likes to feel rejected, so his "friend vibe" was annoying, but on to the next!

 

*Name has been changed to protect privacy.

 

Want to know more about my dating experiences? Click HERE for dating clichés I refuse to follow!

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