All the Reasons Crunchy Peanut Butter Is Clearly the Superior Form of Peanut Butter

Peanut butter opinions have been separating families for centuries.

Okay, maybe not centuries, but we have to admit peanut butter can be quite the divisive topic. When asking "crunchy or creamy?" we often wait for a reply with bated breath, knowing that the response could forever alter our opinion of this relationship. Not to mention the wrong answer means we won't be whipping up PB 'n' J sandwiches for this person any time soon.

But have no fear, I'm here to settle this endless debate. Keep scrolling for all the reasons crunchy peanut butter is clearly the supreme form of peanut butter.

Just picture it: a beautiful, unopened jar of peanut butter. Just looking at it you can already taste the rich, nutty flavor. You automatically start to salivate, partly from your insatiable hunger and partly in anticipation of indulging your taste buds with this salty and savory treat.

You've prepared for this moment. Your two slices of bread are already resting on your plate and a jar of sugary jam sits beside your dish, waiting to be joined by its ultimate flavorful companion.

You walk the jar over to your station, mentally reworking your plan of attack along the way. You decide to spread the peanut butter first, as you can hardly wait to crack open a fresh jar of this delicious treat. You carefully unscrew the lid and pull back the protective seal. Your heart beats faster and you have to swallow back the drool that's threatening to escape from your mouth. Finally, after all this waiting, you can make your ideal sandwich. You dip your knife into the buttery spread only to realize… something's very wrong.

It's a disaster of epic proportions—the only thing that could have ruined your lunchtime experience. You feel a pit forming in the base of your stomach as your mind slowly sinks into despair. You can hardly wrap your brain around the magnitude of what you've just realized, but you slowly start to face the facts.

This delicious jar of peanut butter is not at all the delectable treat you've been craving. In fact, it's the worst thing you could imagine. It's creamy. 

You spit the word out of your mouth in disgust. How are you supposed to enjoy a sandwich with creamy peanut butter? There's no satisfying crunchiness to offset the otherwise bland smoothness of your meal. The texture and diversity that you know you can expect from crunchy peanut butter isn't at all represented in its creamy counterpart. Crunchy peanut butter is natural and authentic. Creamy peanut butter is a doctored version of a delicious treat with no respect for the roots of its nutty ancestors.

Crunchy peanut butter adds depth and dimension to your meals. It understands that different textures are one of the primary markers of a success for a culinary dish—just ask anyone on Food Network. Crunchy peanut butter strives for diversification. It knows that flavor is about more than taste—it's about the entire experience of eating a meal. No two bites of crunchy peanut butter are going to be the same. One taste might be filled with delicious bits of crunch, while another might primarily include the buttery quality of crushed peanuts. The same just can't be said for creamy peanut butter.

You angrily screw the lid back onto the jar and chuck it into the trash. Another meal time ruined by the intolerable monotony of creamy peanut butter. You stalk off to find a snack to fill your growling stomach, already planning to stop at the store and try the whole process again tomorrow, this time with the right peanut butter.

There are two types of people in this world: People who prefer crunchy peanut butter and people who are wrong. Save yourself from the epic disaster depicted in this story—eat crunchy peanut butter.

 

 

If you're as obsessed with this nutty treat as I am, click HERE for items that will make any peanut butter-lover drool.