Here’s Why You Should Embrace That Crush on Someone Who’s Totally Not Your Type
Part of what makes crushes so fun, and so complicated, is how unpredictable they can be.
Sometimes, you'll find yourself crushing on someone devastatingly gorgeous, but lacking in every other department. Others, you might find yourself head over heels for someone you don't even find cute.
Having a crush on someone who's not at all your type can be quite confusing, but here's why you should embrace those feelings instead of pushing them away.
When You Click, You Click
There's no denying chemistry, even if you're not physically attracted to someone. Maybe you've never experienced it before, but a crush can be based on an admiration beyond good looks. Perhaps you share riveting conversations, understand each other fully and seem to be on the same page about most things.
Your crush might be hilarious, or incredibly kind, or otherwise really talented in one way or another. Just because they're the opposite of the type of person you'd usually like, or some of their physical features don't necessarily appeal to you, it won't make those feelings go away. It's crucial to remember that looks aren't the most important thing in a potential relationship.
(Beauty and the Beast via Buena Vista Pictures)
Consider Your Options
When you're ready for your next big crush, but your options are kind of slim, you might find yourself falling for a type of person you never would have before. If you're not really into anyone at your school or in your wider social circles, you may find yourself latching onto the person who's the best option from that smaller pool. You may be crushing out of convenience's sake, but that doesn't make your feelings any less valid.
It's a Crush, Not a Commitment
The nice thing about a crush is that it's just a crush. You're free to act on your feelings and tell that person how you feel, keep your feelings to yourself until they fade away, or any other option in between. These are your feelings, so allow yourself to be shallow if that's what you need right now. If you're so unattracted to them that you could never see yourself with them, don't sweat it. You can't force yourself to change the way you see someone. But if that isn't the case, there might be something more there that's worth pursuing. Instead of overthinking things, go with your gut and listen to your heart regarding what you should do about the situation.
(Megamind via Paramount Pictures)
Attraction Can Change Over Time
Being suddenly drawn to a totally different type of person can be a signal that you're maturing as a person. It's possible that you've grown past superficial things and are starting to become attracted to personality traits, rather than just physical attributes. Or, maybe you haven't recognized it yet, but your standards regarding good looks might be shifting as well.
If you don't think that's the case, remember that sometimes, finding someone good-looking is about exposure more than anything else. Ever had an experience when you suddenly found an old friend extremely cute? The same thing can happen with the not-your-type crush. If they have everything you're looking for in a partner, except the look, you might be surprised to find what develops there. Or, it might never happen. Either way, the idea is worth exploring.
It Doesn't Matter What Other People Think
At the end of the day, it's not that important whether you think your crush is cute or not. You might be worried that your friends or peers would just you for having an unorthodox crush, but those fears crop up in almost any relationship situation. You probably already have enough self-judgment going on in your life, so stop agonizing about the others and let your own process take priority.
(Star Wars: The Force Awakens via Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Still not sure how you got in this situation? Click HERE to find out how and why we develop crushes, according to an expert.