10 Classic Gentle Parenting Phrases You Can Also Use on Yourself

You've likely heard of gentle parenting, an approach to raising kids that focuses on empathy, respect and trust over discipline and strict rules. We're not parents ourselves, so we can't speak to how effective these techniques are for little ones, but we can say we like many of these principles for guiding our own self-talk.

We can be out own worst critics, so sometimes, the first step to a more positive outlook begins with more respectful communication with ourselves. Ready to learn how to gently parent yourself? Look below for 10 key phrases you can start implementing into your life.

'It's Time To…'

Here's one for the procrastinators out there. If repeatedly asking yourself if you're ready to do something or telling yourself you need to isn't doing the trick, try announcing that it's time to do that task. Rather than a question to yourself or a command, this is a more neutral statement that still implies taking action. The more positively you can say it, the better, and it may help to count to five beforehand to ready yourself for the next step. It won't necessarily work every time, but it can be a nice motivator when you need it.

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'Kind Words, Please'

"Kind words, please," is literally something you'd say to a small kid, but sometimes, we could all use a reminder to be kinder. Whether we're directing harsh words at ourselves or someone else, we can all be more mindful about the negativity we allow to swirl around in our heads. You don't need to waste mental energy trash-talking other people, and thinking about yourself more positively also sets you up to be happier and more optimistic about life. Being polite to yourself is highly recommended.

 

'Let's Take Some Deep Breaths'

Has telling yourself to stop whining or calm down ever made you feel better? Instead of disregarding your feelings, take a proactive approach and practice a calming exercise instead. Stopping to take some deep breaths—try starting with inhaling, holding, exhaling and holding again for four seconds each for every breath—is an actionable step that'll help you slow down, release some tension and look at what you're dealing with from a more objective perspective.

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Also read about: How Breathing Exercises Can Help You Deal With Stress

 

'It's Okay to Make Mistakes'

Many of us have a knee-jerk reaction to our mistakes, immediately feeling a sense of shame for what we've done. However, we've never found shame to be a good motivator. Instead of focusing on a mistake and punishing yourself, you can gently remind yourself that everyone makes them from time to time. Making mistakes is okay—that's part of being human—and you can learn from them by being more mindful in the future. If someone else points out a mistake you've made, instead of getting defensive, you can instead thank them for catching your error (and apologizing, if that's needed) before doing what you can to fix it.

 

'It's Okay to Change Your Mind'

As adults, it can be easy to forget that it's okay to change our minds. Too often, we're taught that once we've settled on something—whether it's big like a career path or partner, or small like a paint color for a room or what we want for dinner—we need to stick with it. That simply isn't the case, and people often stay on unfulfilling paths for too long because of this thinking. In life, very few things are actually permanent. Remind yourself that it's okay to change your mind based on new information or new feelings. Giving yourself more flexibility will also open you up to more opportunities.

 

'It's Okay to Rest'

Just like toddlers sometimes have to be forced to take their naps, we often need to be reminded to take it easy and give ourselves the opportunity to really rest. Remember that your productivity doesn't define you, and when you're already feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, pushing through that is only likely to compound those sensations. On the flip side, you may actually be taking a break, but mentally telling yourself repeatedly that you should be doing something and not feeling very rested as a result. You are not lazy, just stuck. Giving yourself permission to truly detach from responsibilities is hard, but it help you see the benefits of rest much faster.

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Also read about: 9 Helpful Ways to De-Stress and Promote Relaxation in Just 10 Minutes

 

'Take Your Time'

Small children aren't the only ones who try to do things quickly, mess up and get frustrated in the process. Even when you're on a deadline, it can be important to remember that slow and steady wins the race. Being patient and going through things step-by-step will net you better results every time, as well as prevent you from making mistakes that are going to delay you even further. Do what you can to create situations where you won't be rushed, then take your time and do things right.

 

'I'm Proud of Myself for Trying'

Not used to stepping out of your comfort zone? Trying new things can be scary and difficult, and you shouldn't be discouraged if they don't work out. Rather than focusing on what went wrong, reframe your thinking and be proud of yourself for making the attempt in the first place. Celebrate the little successes, whether it's the outcome you wanted, or just the fact you went for it. This can help you built resilience, and make it even easier to put yourself out there the next time you want something.

 

'Your Feelings Are Important'

It can feel like society doesn't value big emotions, but that doesn't mean you don't have every right to feel them. When a situation is making you feel sad or angry, give yourself space to processes those sensations instead of trying to bury them or force positivity instead. Being sensitive isn't a weakness. You may want to journal about them or discuss them with someone you trust. Most importantly, listen to what those feelings are telling you about your situation. They matter, and they may help you better understand whether your current circumstances are actually working for you.

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Also read about: The Best Easy Yet Thoughtful Journaling Prompts to Keep Your Year on Track

 

'Thank You'

When was the last time you thanked yourself? It may seem silly, but a little self-gratitude can be the key to completely changing your mindset. You can thank you body for getting you from point A to point B, or thank your brain for coming up with a clever solution to a problem. You can thank yourself for giving yourself time to rest, treating yourself to a little snack, taking a step closer toward a goal or even simply finishing an irritating chore you'd been putting off. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you're probably doing a million little things throughout the day that deserve recognition, so why not recognize yourself?

 

Want to get better at being your most authentic and apologetic self? Click HERE to discover all of the things you should never apologize for.