How to Cope With Jealousy in Friendships and Relationships

Often find yourself forcing feigned excitement when a friend tells you about their perfect new job or how they just got into their dream school?

Maybe you find yourself getting jealous in your relationship when someone gets a little too close to your partner, making you want to scream into a pillow. When these emotions arise, it doesn't necessarily mean you're not happy for your friend or don't trust your partner, but that your competitive side is tapping you on the shoulder, and you can't help feeling the way you do. When envy inevitably surfaces, here are some foolproof ways to cope.

Dissect Any Emotions That Arise

What comes up for you when you are in a situation causing jealousy? Do you fear a friend or partner will like a new person in their life more than you? Does your friend get an opportunity that makes you feel like you're behind them on your career path? Jealousy can be a mirror into your subconscious, projecting your own unresolved inner conflict and emotions. Really tap into what you are feeling, as it may be the thing that helps you manage your feelings better or get rid of the envy entirely.

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Who Is the Culprit?

Does your friend have a pattern of rubbing things in your face? Ever catch your partner hiding texts from you and acting suspiciously? If so, it's possible that they are not operating healthily and sustainably to maintain the relationship. In this instance, you should 100% have a conversation about how these things make you feel. Make them aware of how the situation affects you and provide them with alternative behaviors that would be beneficial for the relationship. If you feel there is no way to amend the relationship, it may be time to call it quits.

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Also read about: When to Fight for the Friendship and When It's Time to Let a Friend Go

 

Redefine How You Look at Jealousy

We know that changing how you look at jealousy is easier said than done, but trust us— with practice, it will soon become second nature. When jealousy starts to surface, ask yourself what is coming up for you and who's at fault. Once you have determined that these feelings may be coming from an internal place of insecurity or inner conflict, like wanting an opportunity the other person has, allow it to push you towards your goal. Jealousy could be the fire under your butt you've always needed. Wanting something that someone else has can be the thing that makes you hungrier for it and, in turn, push you to take the necessary steps to make it happen.

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Set Boundaries

If your friend is always talking about all the positive things happening for them and they rarely ask about you, the answer may be to set some boundaries with them. You can choose to have a conversation with your friend about how the dynamic has been making you feel. If you don't feel comfortable having that conversation yet, you should feel empowered to distance yourself when necessary and healthy for you.

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Also read about: How To Set Boundaries In Already Established Relationships

 

Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance means acknowledging the things out of your control and accepting reality wholeheartedly. In many instances, radical acceptance may not be enough—like in the instance of abuse—nor is it an opportunity to live a life of passivity and complacency. This practice allows you to dissolve your internal struggles and make room for growth. If someone receives an opportunity you want, accept that it is not meant for you now. Once you welcome the fact that you are not where you want to be and begin to take action to change, it will allow for something greater to come along.

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Also read about: How To Manifest Your Resolutions For 2023

 

When in Doubt, Ask a Professional

If you have tried all these steps and nothing works for you, it may be time to consult with a professional to help you get to the root of the problem. There is no shame in needing some more support!

 

Want to learn more coping strategies? Click 5 Simple Ways to Deal With Stress