How to Date Someone in Your Friend Group—Without the Mess
There is nothing more storybook-worthy than being in a group of friends and finding yourself crushing on someone within the circle.
Amidst lighthearted and flirtatious exchanges, you discover that the attraction is mutual. Being in love with someone who first started as a friend, getting rid of all the talking stage jitters and being completely comfortable with someone sounds wonderful. Well, sorry to burst that bubble because, as life would have it, it is never that simple. Unfortunately, this is not the movies, and odds are that falling for someone in the friend group will be a bit messy, not to mention the fact that friends may feel obligated to choose sides. And to burst the bubble even further, navigating the transition from friends to lovers is not always seamless, with uncertainty and mixed emotions arising for everyone involved. Take it from people who learned it the hard way. Here are some rules to ensure that your new romance is mess-free.
Open Communication
When it comes to sharing the news with your friends about your budding romance, a couple of scenarios can unfold. You might be met with warm congratulations and remarks like, "We knew you two had a thing for each other!" Or, you may encounter subtle side-eyes and raised eyebrows accompanied with an "Are you sure?" Establishing a foundation of open and honest communication from the start, both with your partner and your friend group, can help ensure your friendships remain strong and supportive throughout the journey.
Keep It Low-Key Initially
Don't feel pressured to share the news with your friend group immediately. Allow both of you the time and space to explore this potential relationship without the interference or comments of the group. Figure out a game plan on how you both will share the news, develop strong boundaries and communicate ways in which your new roles can seamlessly fit into your lives.
Also read about: How to Set Boundaries in an Already Established Relationship
Keep The Group Dynamic Alive
Despite how exciting this new arrangement may be for you and your partner, strike a balance to keep your friends feeling included and happy. The last thing you want to deal with is friends feeling neglected as you and your partner roam the new world of romance hand-in-hand. While it's natural to want to spend every day together as a couple, ensuring that your friendships remain strong and nurtured is crucial. Make a conscious effort to spend quality time with your friends individually and as a group.
Be Ready for Plot Twists
Although the allure of a friendship budding into a romance sounds idyllic, there is a chance that things may not unfold as you hoped. If this does happen, remain calm, cool and collected. Communicate maturely with your now-ex and express your concerns. Ideally, the breakup will occur amicably, avoiding the need for your friends to take sides and allowing everyone to return to a harmonious state. If it doesn't turn out as peachy as you hoped, it may be time to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth. Try some activities out of your comfort zone to help you endure the post-breakup life. This could also be a good time to expand your social horizons to avoid feeling like every time you want to see your friends there is a shadow of awkward history. Remember, unexpected twists are a part of life. Through resiliency and new experiences, we can find our way forward.
Want to hear more about navigating relationships? Click HERE for how to really let go of the one that got away.