How to Tell Your BFF You Need a Break
Having a difficult conversation with your BFF is never easy.
Your best friend likely knows you better than just about anyone else in your life, and he or she is probably the first person you tell when your crush texts you back, or the shoulder you cry on when your parents are being totally unfair.
Still, friendships ebb and flow, and if you're worried you and your BFF might be getting a bit too clingy and fear the relationship could be holding you back from getting to know other, awesome people, it might be time to approach your pal about taking a break.
To guide you through this delicate process, we've come up with seven tips to keep in mind when broaching this tricky subject with your bestie. Scroll down and check 'em out!
Be Upfront and Honest
If you want to talk to your BFF about taking a break, it's best to be as upfront and honest with them as possible. Why? Because if you simply start ignoring their texts or declining their calls without an explanation, that could easily lead to confusion and hurt feelings, which isn't beneficial for anyone involved.
On the other hand, if you're open and truthful about your need for some space, chances are your BFF will understand, even if he or she is a bit surprised at first.
Plan What You're Going to Say
Like we said, difficult conversations with someone you love or care about are never simple, so make it easier on yourself by planning what you want to say and how you want to say it. That way, you'll be able to say how you feel without getting thrown off track or caught up in details that don't matter, especially since this is likely a delicate discussion to start with.
In other words, this isn't the time to start pointing fingers or blaming your friend for your need for space. Instead, frame the conversation in a way that paints this break as something that could be beneficial to each of you.
(Gossip Girl via The CW)
Take a Casual Approach
Though this might be easier said than done given the subject at hand, try to take a casual approach to this conversation as opposed to making it out to be like it's laying the groundwork for some major shift in your friendship. That way, both of you will be more relaxed, and the conversation is much more likely to be drama-free and void of any hurtful words one or both of you might regret.
Don't Get Defensive If They Have Questions
While you've possibly been considering taking a break from your BFF for some time, there's a distinct possibility this conversation may come as a shock to them, so don't get defensive or frustrated if they have questions or want to know more about why you need a break.
Yes, it's important for you to get your point across and tell your bestie how you feel, but it's just as crucial for you to listen to them and do your best to understand how this conversation is making them feel, too. Be patient, answer any questions they may have and assure them this isn't the end of your friendship.
(Grey's Anatomy via ABC)
Recognize They Might Need Space, Too
While you may be the one initiating the conversation, there's a chance your BFF could have similar feelings as well. Remember, there are two people involved in this friendship, and your pal's feelings and needs are just as valid and important as your own.
However they respond, don't be scared or angered by their reaction. Instead, take this opportunity to make sure the two of you are on the same page when it comes to your friendship and the future of it.
Don't Talk in Absolutes
You're just talking to your BFF about taking a break, so there's no need to use absolutes. Avoid saying things like you'll "never" head to the movies together again or "never" send them another text message, because you don't want to hurt them or cut them out of your life completely. Instead, talk about why you think gradually or periodically cutting back on the time you spend together could be an opportunity for each of you to grow and broaden your horizons. In short, be sure to leave your options open as opposed to shutting the door on the friendship entirely.
(Friends via NBC)
Know That a True Friend Will Ultimately Understand
However hard this may be for you to do, know that if you and your BFF truly have a strong, stable relationship, he or she will understand your need for space and desire to incorporate some new people into your life. While it might take some time for your bestie to come around and get used to seeing or talking to you less than usual, a true friend will applaud your need to meet new people and will always be there when you need them. No matter what.
For more advice, click HERE to learn how to set your BFF up with their crush.