joan Break Down the Chorus of Their Viral Hit Song, ‘i loved you first’
Since forming in 2017, musical duo joan has come a long way, making a name for themselves and selling out concerts all around the globe with their infectiously mellow and nostalgic pop sound.
Consisting of artists Alan Benjamin Thomas and Steven Rutherford, joan dropped their critically acclaimed debut album, superglue, in 2023, and recently wrapped a tour with MISTERWIVES across the U.S. They've also seen success with their most recent singles, "heartbodymindsoul" and "eyes." To celebrate, we wanted to travel back in time with the guys to reflect on their viral 2018 hit, "i loved you first." In the interview below, joan was kind enough to break down the lyrics of its chorus and tell us how they came to be.
The Lyrics
"you keep running away when i need you most
running away when i get too close
my heart is full but yours is running out
i think i'm afraid of what comes next
yeah i'm afraid you've lost your head
baby you know that i loved you first but now
you're in love with somebody else"
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On the Honesty of 'i loved you first'
joan: This is so crazy, honestly, to even write these lyrics out—this was the second song we ever wrote as a band, and we've been singing these live for so long, you kind of forget what you're singing. These lyrics honestly are just total and complete honesty, without thinking or filtering really before writing them down. There are just songs like this, that for some reason, the authenticity of it just oozes out of the lyrics. We're not trying to fool anyone—these are not the most potent lyrics you'll ever read—but there is just an honesty factor to them that resonates with people. There are a ton of ways we would rewrite these lyrics if we were writing the song today, but we're so glad we wrote them at the time we did, because they're perfect for the song.
(via Photo Finish Records)
On Wordplay
joan: We love the wordplay with running in this chorus. Everything about their heart is running away. While they're running away, their heart is running out of love. We love that juxtaposition. We also still love the line "i loved you first but now you're in love with somebody else"—that goes back to the honesty. That is not trying to be flashy, not trying to say something cool. Just feels so real, even still.
(via Photo Finish Records)
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What 'i loved you first' Means
joan: This song is just about heartbreak, honestly. It's at the point where you just know you can't do anything about your situation, you're just stuck in it. You know it's coming, you know they're leaving, and you just have to sit with it and figure out why, if you ever will. We've never really thought about it, but there's a ripping guitar solo as a bridge of this song. It's funny to think about just spilling our heart out while writing this song and then just shredding a massive top gun solo right after. Anyway, thanks for listening 🙂
(via Photo Finish Records)
For more insights on our favorite music, in the artist's own words, click HERE to read our interview with RIMON on her debut album, Children of the Night.