How to Speak Your Crush’s Love Language Most Effectively

mar 6, 2019

Ah, love languages.

Originally invented by Dr. Gary Chapman, the love languages refer to the five different ways that we all give and receive love. They've become a major topic of conversation over the years, mostly due to their ability to mend struggling relationships by adjusting your actions to meet your partner's needs.

And it's not just relationships. If you have some insight into your crush's love language, you can use that knowledge to communicate your affection, and maybe just make them fall for you in the process.

Sound too good to be true? It's not. Keep scrolling for our tips on how to speak your crush's love language most effectively.

Acts of Service

Acts of service is a tricky love language to master, mostly because it involves anticipating another person's needs. If your crush's primary love language is acts of service, they feel affection most deeply through action. More specifically, they feel loved when someone does something for them, especially something they didn't really want to do themselves.

Acts of service can be a little hard to speak with a crush, especially because you don't want to let them take advantage of you. You'll have to make slight adjustments, but you can still show them how much you care. Helping them with their homework, tagging along to help with an errand they need to run, offering to pack them lunch once a week or bringing them an afternoon snack because you know they get hungry can all count as acts of service. In acts of service, it's all about remembering the little things, and doing your best to help your crush out.

If you're speaking acts of service with a crush, it's important to remember that you shouldn't feel taken advantage of. You want to show them you care, but you also shouldn't be sacrificing your own well-being to help them out. Once you're in a relationship, it's easier to commit more energy to your partner, but while you're still in the crush stage, you need to be mindful of the fact that you should only push yourself as far as you feel comfortable.

A post shared by @lanacondor on Nov 24, 2018 at 12:37pm PST

Receiving Gifts

Contrary to popular belief, having a primary love language of receiving gifts doesn't make your crush materialistic or shallow. For those who identify with receiving gifts, it's not about the object itself, but more about the visible representation of your affection. For a crush, it can be hard to give gifts and make it look natural, but there are a few things you can do.

To effectively speak the receiving gifts love language, it's important to remember that the value of the object doesn't matter. It's just a symbol of your affection that lets the person know you were thinking of them, which matters a lot to those who primarily identify with receiving gifts. Since it's about the thought behind the gift, you can bring your crush something they like without making it a big deal. Presenting them with their favorite candy bar, curating a Spotify playlist of their favorite songs or bringing them a small memento from a recent vacation all count as gift-giving.

These are small, seemingly insignificant gestures, but the effort you put into them will mean the world to your crush, allowing you to effectively show them just how much you care about them.

Quality Time

Those who identify their primary love language as quality time don't just want to be in the same room with the person they care about. Well, they do, but it's more than that. Quality time hinges on giving the other person your undivided attention, without cell phones or TV to distract you. It's harder to accomplish than you think, but if done correctly it can go a long way towards communicating your affection to your crush.

First and foremost, to effectively speak quality time to your crush, you have to eliminate all distractions every time the two of you and talking. That means no chatting to your friends on the side, no checking your cell phone and no focusing on an outside activity when you're with them. Eye contact is also very important for speaking quality time, as it gives a physical signal that your attention is on them, and them alone. Lastly, you have to engage in the conversation. Quality time requires a give and take, so you have to use your focused attention to your advantage and respond enthusiastically to whatever your crush might be telling you.

Since you likely get less chances to effectively speak quality time with your crush than you would if you were in a relationship, you have to make the most of every opportunity. Even if it's difficult for you to maintain your focus, giving your crush your undivided attention for a few short minutes will mean the world to them.

A post shared by Wells Adams (@wellsadams) on Sep 16, 2018 at 11:33am PDT

Words of Affirmation

As the name implies, words of affirmation hinges on the verbal exchange between you and your crush. If this is your crush's primary love language, they feel affection when they hear words that build them up, most often in the form of compliments, appreciation and encouragement.

If you want to communicate your affection to your crush using words of affirmation, compliments are always a safe route. Something simple as telling them how nice they look will go a long way towards making them feel loved. If you struggle to give compliments freely, encouragement can be your fallback. Telling your crush that you're impressed by them or that you know they can accomplish a difficult task will be particularly touching for someone who needs words of affirmation.

Certain things should always be kept in mind while attempting to speak words of affirmation. First, even if you think your crush knows exactly how you feel, you should always say the words out loud. They need spoken words to feel loved, so assuming that they know what you mean will ruin your chance to show them affection. An empathetic and appreciative tone will also go a long way towards communicating your affection to your crush. Lastly, you must always ensure that your words are sincere. If you say things just to say them, your crush will be able to tell. Words of affirmation isn't about just saying nice things, it's about picking out what you genuinely like about your crush and simply finding the courage to say it out loud.

Physical Touch

Physical touch can be difficult to communicate with a crush, mostly because few of us are comfortable enough to break the barrier of touch with someone we're still developing feelings for. For a crush who needs physical touch, however, speaking this language effectively can make all the difference in how they feel about you.

First and foremost, you have to use the right kind of touch. Those who primarily identify with physical touch crave affectionate touch that makes them feel secure and safe. Holding hands, a touch on the arm, a heartfelt hug—these are all incredible ways to communicate affectionate touch.

To speak physical touch with your crush, you have to take every opportunity to break the physical barrier between the two of you. Giving them a hug every time you say hello and goodbye is a perfect way to start. It's natural and comfortable, but it also allows you to communicate affection in a way that speaks to them. Other than that, you should generally be on the lookout for little ways to touch your crush. Whether it's grabbing their hand in a moment of excitement or patting them on the shoulder when they've accomplished something big, any kind of small touch will be highly effective in showing your crush just how much you care.

You might know your crush's love language, but what about your own? Click HERE for your love language, based on your zodiac sign.