When to Take a Break vs. When to Just Break Up With Your Partner
"We were on a break!" is a famous phrase for a reason.
Okay, yes, it's mostly because of the massive popularity of the show Friends, but we would argue that it's also because it's a sentiment that many people can relate to. A "break" in a relationship, at least in theory, is a temporary pause of sorts. It says that you're both not together at the moment, but that you'll come back and discuss where things are at and if you should resume the relationship at some point soon.
In reality, though, breaks can be… messy, to say the least. Oftentimes, one partner will think that they're fully single (and thus act that way) while the other thinks that they're just "focusing on themselves," leading to some potential disdain when things reach their boiling point and the break comes to an end. Also, there's the question of time: when does the break come to an end? Do you agree on a certain date from the start, or is it simply when you both feel that you have a solid answer? For many people, the complications of taking a break make them wonder if they should call it quits on the relationship entirely. However, there can be benefits to taking a break, just like there are for breaking up with your partner for good instead. But how do you know which is right for you and your relationship? While no one can really answer that but you, we're here to offer a little guidance.
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When You Should Opt for Taking a Break:
Taking a break should not be an easy option when things are going a little sour in your relationship. There are times when you need to just sit down and talk things out with your partner in a calm, mature and understanding way, but then there are times when that just won't do. If whatever issues you're dealing with aren't so severe that you want to completely call it quits for good, a break might be a good option. Here are a few signs it could be a healthy option for your relationship:
- You both genuinely just need some space
- You need time to focus on other aspects of your life that might be taking precedence over your relationship (family issues, work problems, etc.)
- You still love your partner and could see the two of you being together even long into the future
(via Shutterstock)
When You Should Forgo the Break & Just Break Up:
As we mentioned before, taking a break is not a good solution for everyone. Here are some signs that you may need to just break up with your partner instead:
- You're "bored" of your partner or of the relationship (in a way that doing new things together wouldn't fix)
- You get jealous easily
- You have an anxious attachment style and would feel on edge all the time wondering what your partner is up to without you
- One of you no longer feels strongly for the other one, even if the other one does
- Time and space won't fix whatever problems it is you have going on
(via Shutterstock)
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So, while breaking up can be hard, sometimes it really is more worth it to put a hard stop in a relationship that isn't working (and won't, no matter how much you try to make it work) rather than continuing to force yourselves into a situation that's only half of what you really need. And if you need some more help deciding, click HERE to read our list of signs it's time to break up.